The burden in my heart..

I can still remember the first time I knew I wanted to be a mom. I remember that silly young girl, not yet 19. I had been married for almost a year. It was a beautiful Saturday and we were at church. I should have been listening to the pastor, but I texted Jonathan this "I want to have a baby". After a talk on the short ride home, I threw out my birth control that day. We always seem to make major life decisions quickly. We always just dive right in. I got pregnant a few months later. What a ride it has been! My sweet pea didn't stay a baby for very long. I can't believe she will be four in just three short months. We are really starting to think about school now that she's getting older. Jonathan and I both grew up being homeschooled. We both did very well in college, though I chose to not finish my degree. We both believe very strongly in home school. Even with these opinions and beliefs, I have been struggling for awhile. I feel so burdened to stay home with my children and teach them, yet I feel so overwhelmed. I love them so much. Though somedays I find myself day dreaming of a career and of finishing my degree. I feel so ill equipped and incapable of educating them. Jonathan and I had the privilege of going to a Homeschool book fair, this past Friday. The lectures were amazing! I felt so inspired! Somehow, I find myself overwhelmed and discouraged again already. We haven't even started yet. We bought a curriculum. There was so much to choose from. We get home and not even two days later I'm second guessing our choices. I keep reminding myself she'll only be four. I need to just relax and take baby steps. She's a very gifted child and we're starting her with kindergarten curriculum. Everything that matched her age seemed that it would bore her. She already knew it. I don't want to rush her or push her too much, but I don't want to bore her to death either. I keep reminding myself we can always repeat again the next year, but I'm fairly certain she is going to flourish. In the meantime, I'm trying to stay positive. I love being a mother. If there is one thing I've learned, in my three years and 81/2 months of parenting, it's that I over worry. Everything all works out in it's own time. I am capable of teaching her. We are going to succeed at this. No one ever said being a parent would be easy.

Mary Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

Yay for spring! I love spring. I think I love it even more now that we're gardening. I've never had a garden before. I fear I may have inherited my mothers black thumb. That coupled with my intense fear of all things creepy crawly just might spell a gardening disaster for me. In the mean time I'm going to enjoy it. What better way to have spent an entire Sunday with my family? The girls loved gardening. Children even girl children love getting dirty. Though both girls were a little uncertain at first. Their uncertainty faded quickly. I found myself very surprised to actually be enjoying the smell and feel of the dirt on my hands. I couldn't believe the soil actually smelled good. Little Turkey enjoyed the smell so much. She decided to taste it and keep tasting it. Gross! If she has a sudden growth spurt we can thank the miracle grow. Already some of the little plants are growing taller! We planted corn, tomatoes, peas (a little late for those), green beans, cucumber, squash, watermelon, blackberry bushes, raspberry bushes, blueberry trees, and several different herbs. We are so excited! We're doubtful the corn or watermelon will grow very well, but we shall see. Hoping and praying for a good harvest.

Oliver + S

When I first started sewing, I got into it because I wanted to quilt. The very first things I sewed were two hot pads. I still have those hot pads somewhere. They look so sad with there crooked lines. I was very proud of those hot pads though and I was in love with sewing. I had found a new hobby. Someday I dream of being proficient at free arm quilting. For now, while my girls are small and will still wear what I make them, I've been enjoying sewing clothes. About a year ago when I was looking online for inspiration, I remember seeing a children's pattern with the sweetest little paper doll on the front. At the time laughably I thought they were vintage. I didn't purchase any at the time. I felt that they weren't really a style I was interested in. It's so funny how much one's tastes can change in just a year. I've since learned more about these patterns and I'm in love! They are the sweetest patterns with the sweetest details. I've spent a shameful amount of time on the flickr group looking at all the different things people have sewn with these patterns! I must say there are some talented seamstresses out there. If you are ever looking, for children's clothing inspiration, you should take a peek. The patterns are phenomenal! The instructions are very detailed and thorough. I recently sewed together the playdate dress. I found a very helpful blog and made good use of the Oliver + S forums when I got stuck. I had never sewn a yoke before and that had me stuck for quite awhile. I did eventually figure it out at 12:00 am. I loved how it all came together and will be much quicker the next time I make one of these. I made a 6-12mo. size for little Turkey. Whenever I'm researching clothes to sew for my littles I like to know what size others picked for their littles. So helpful when deciding what size pattern to use. Little Turkey is very small for age only in the 3rd percentile. She is currently in 12 month clothing, but depending on the brand 12month clothing sometimes is big on her. I'm pleased with the fit. I think she would have also fit the 12-18 month size. I think the next time I sew one up I will make the seam larger on the yoke. I have to pull pretty hard to get it over her head.

So busy..

Turns out blogging diligently just isn't my strong point I honestly don't know how people have the time. Seems like most days I do good to take care of my girls and get part not even all of the household chores completed. Turns out I'm something of a slow poke. Getting things done quickly has never been my strong suit. I'm not giving up yet though. I'm going to try and get this blog up and running if it's the last thing I do. Tot school has been going splendidly. My three year old loves it! She begs for it on days that we don't do it. I fear she won't be interested in a summer break. We have loved rowing our BFIAR books. She is learning to read. She's known her whole alphabet since one and a half and she knows all her letter sounds. I'd been holding back, but she kept pointing at words and asking "what's that say?", so I finally decided to start teaching her. She loves it and is doing well! She just had her first violin recital this past Sunday. She started back in September and enjoys playing! Little Turkey has been growing so much and is into everything. She has a special fascination with out trash cans and the toilet! This is very new for us. Her big sister never got into anything. She certainly is giving us a run for our money! Her vocabulary has started to bloom. I think it's due, largely to the fact, that we only let her have her beloved pacifier for naps and bedtime now. Currently my favorite word that she says is flower. So precious! These sweet girls keep me busy. I have several sewing projects all cut out and ready to sew. The children have needs so I'm off. Hopefully I'll have some sewing projects to share soon.